Okay, I am going to engage in some whining. If you have one of those signs on your desk that says “no whining allowed,” you may just want to skip this post.
On Saturday, Josh came down with his fifth cold since mid-January. And while Josh is normally a bad sleeper, when he is sick, he is a down right awful sleeper. So, I’ve been feeling rather Blah lately. Is “blah” a diagnosable state? If not, it should be. I had been trying to figure out why I was “blah.” I mean, other than continuing down the path of a special needs parent, there is nothing particularly stressful going on in my life right now. And I am embarking on the kind of career I’ve always dreamed of, where I am directly helping others. Then it hit me. That is, I haven’t really had a full night sleep for months. In fact, I have had little more than a few straight hours of sleep at a time for the past two or so months. Last night was the worst. Josh was up from midnight to 4:00 am. It started with a coughing fit that led into Josh’s strange insomniatic pattern.
I had to laugh (and feel embraced in a kind of “misery loves suffering” hug) a few days ago when I saw this diagram posted by X’s parents. Yep. Pretty much sums things up over this way too. I mean, we have different last resorts . . . and different DVDs . . . but yep. Last night, as I lay awake listening to Josh down in the living room with Chris at 3 am (Chris took the 2-4am shift), yelling “Batman na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-nana Batman” (you know the old TV show theme song–we don’t know where he learned it), I was just wondering where I might go to get a good night’s sleep. Just one. That’s all I ask. Just one real, true sleep that begins at 10 pm and ends at 6 am, with no interruptions. But it doesn’t look like that is coming anytime soon. And so I’ll just buck up under Dr. Sear’s stern parental scolding and realize that when you become a parent, you agree to nighttime parenting. It is a nonnegotiable. And so far, they haven’t figured out a way to selectively breed to produce good sleepers (I somehow got lucky this way with #1 and #2, I guess), so I guess if you toss your name in the hat for a new child, however you procure that child–there are no guarantees of easy anything.
Anyway, this nighttime landscape is actually worse than having a newborn, cause when you have a newborn, you can sit your butt on the couch a good deal of the day and watch Grey’s Anatomy reruns while he nurses–at least if you have a first child or if you have a third child that comes when your other children are older and you can make them do their own laundry.
Okay, enough whining. Now I am looking for solutions. Has anyone out there given melatonin to their kids? My pediatrician advised that we give it a try at Josh’s 2.5 year appointment last week. I purchased some, but have yet to give it to Josh. It sort of scares me and I am not sure how I’ll disguise it well enough to pass by his discerning palate. But then, our pediatrician said, “next step–sleep clinic.” Sleep Clinic? What? No. Unless . . . perhaps I get to check in at the nearest Marriott and enjoy a good night’s sleep while someone else studies my child, the insomniac? (I know that’s not how it works, but I am so tired today that I am escaping to make-believe fantasies just to, you know, keep going).
And then, just to make things extra interesting, Josh did not even nap today! Perhaps, in his adult years, my child will be one of those people who write’s bestselling novels from 11 pm-5 am, or invents interesting renewable energy resources that save a dying planet. What I am trying to say is, I will look back some day and say “Oh, I see it clearly now. I understand. It was all a part of THE plan.”