As I think back on the days before my divorce–and I’ve been doing that all the time lately as I write my book–I’ve been listening to the song Matty, off a Polica’s new album. And it really brings it all back. I know that Channy, Polica’s lead singer, also married young and went through a divorce with a very young child in tow. I have no idea whether she and her former bandmate consciously uncoupled, but I sure get what the song Matty is all about.
And, I must clarify that I am in no way advocating for divorce with my last post. Divorce is lamentable and difficult. Sometimes I think it is just a whole lot easier to stay together and pretend. But I am not of the opinion that pretending is somehow better for the kids. Anyway, my ex husband and I spent at least three years in marriage therapy before we called it. We attended church. We prayed. We even attended Marriage Encounter. We really did try. And the decision to divorce was a heartbreaking one, particularly as we thought about our kids. We both loved our kids with every drop of blood and sweat that we had, but we still couldn’t make it work. Sometimes, there is nothing left but to walk through the open door.